Sample Press Release Analysis
By George McKenzie
Former TV News Anchor and Radio Talk Show
Host
Is there a standard press release format?
'Does a press release always have to be
double-spaced, size 12 font, and a single page?'
That's the question I hear most often from
people who are writing their first press release
My answer is...
It does not.
Thousands of press releases have passed by my
eyes in the 33 years I was involved in broadcasting.
I never threw a press release in the trash because it didn't
fit the cookie-cutter format they teach in some journalism
schools.
But how DO you write a good press
release?
Rather than try to tell you, how about if I
show you?
I've chosen two sample press
releases, along with a line-by-line analysis of each. The
first is an example of a press release that announces the
rollout of a new product by a major shoe company.
You can see another example of a press
release by clicking on press release example. It's about an
author who is promoting a book AND announcing a product
rollout.
Before reading the rest of this article, I
suggest you read 5 Tests
Every Press Release Must Pass.
***
Press Release 1
****ATTENTION: ASSIGNMENT
DESK****
Are You
Hot?
A “Cool” New Technology Helps
Weekend Warriors and Serious
Athletes Beat Feet Heat
What:
Sweaty feet. It’s not a pretty thought,
yet foot moisture is often a very real problem for recreational
and serious athletes alike, causing blisters, athlete’s foot
and embarrassing foot odors…ugh! In fact, over 88 percent
of Americans recently surveyed felt that heat and humidity
hinder athletic performance.
Why
Believe it or not, your feet can produce
nearly two tablespoons of perspiration per hour when you’re
working out. Because approximately 70,000 sweat glands in
the body are concentrated on the underside of each
foot.
New "Cool"Technology
ClimaCool is a first-of-its-kind new athletic
shoe technology that dramatically reduces heat ad humidity – up
to 20 percent! ClimaCool technology, created by adidas,
allows air to circulate around the foot and helps athletes shed
excessive moisture that can lead to blisters, fungus,
overheating and…stinky feet.
The result: decrease in overheating, and dramatic increases in
foot dryness and performance.
A Few Tips for Keeping
Cool:
As a general rule, drink two cups of watered
down sports drink with electrolytes two hours prior to
activity, and drink one cup of cold water every 10-15 minutes
during your workout.
Choose fabric both light in color and weight
to avoid overheating.
at a small meal no less than 2-3 hours before
activity, allowing time for digestion while avoiding cramps and
stomach aches.
Eating too close to an activity can interfere
with the body’s optimal cooling process.
Sample Press Release 1 Critique
Note: If I were teaching a class on how
to write a news release for a product rollout, I’d use this one
as an example of the “right” way. Here’s why:
Instant Eyeball
Test:
One sheet, grabber headline, good sub-headline, topic heading
in bold, brief, clear, all the necessary details are there,
contact information is complete and easy to find.
Headline Test:
Sexual reference “Are You Hot?” makes you
want to read further to find out what the writer means.
Obviously, it won’t really be blatantly sexual or
pornographic. But what will it be?
The answer comes in the sub-headline, which
also defines the audience: anyone who exercises – which
is a lot of people.
The headline and subheadline grab the
reader's attention and also let him/her know there’s a
substantial audience for the information that
follows.
Hot Button
Test:
Health and fitness.
Body: First sentence of the What”
section is likely to make the reader think, “Whoa! You’ve
got to be kidding. A story about sweaty feet?” But
the writer of this release makes his/her case in the next
5-10 seconds:
It’s not a pretty thought, yet foot moisture is often a
very real problem for
recreational and serious athletes alike, causing blisters,
athlete’s foot and
embarrassing foot odors…ugh! In fact, over 88 percent of
Americans recently
surveyed felt that heat and humidity hinder athletic
performance.
True, it’s not a pretty thought, but it’s a fact. And
just in case you don’t believe it, the writer backs it up with
survey results.
The writer also does a nice job of
reinforcing the idea that “this is a problem” by mentioning
that the people in the survey felt that sweaty feet hindered
athletic performance.
Then the writer hits us with more
impressive stats in the “Why” topic heading:
Believe it or not, your feet can produce nearly two
tablespoons of
perspiration per hour when you’re working out. Because
approximately
70,000 sweat glands in the body are concentrated on the
underside of each foot.
At this point is thinking, “I didn’t know
that…” Whenever you get someone saying those words
to themselves, the release has done its job.
Then, finally, the product gets a
mention.
ClimaCool is a first-of-its-kind new
athletic shoe technology that dramatically reduces
heat and humidity – up to 20 percent!
ClimaCool technology, created by
adidas, allows air to circulate around the foot and helps
athletes shed excessive moisture that can lead to blisters,
fungus, overheating and…stinky feet.
Okay, so ClimaCool is a shoe. But
notice that before mentioning a company name, the writer
explains what the show does for the person wearing
it:
“reduces heat and humidity – up to 20
percent!”
There’s definitely a sales pitch going on
here…but notice the difference between this copy and so many
others journalists see so often. The writer uses
action verbs to tell the reader the benefits of wearing the
shoe.
SO MANY news release writers use adjectives and “advertising
speak” to describe what their product is. This
one uses action verbs to describe what the product
does for the person using it.
To me, the clincher is the tip list near the
bottom of the page. This really shows that the writer has
a lot of savvy.
Near the top, he/she stated the
problem:
sweaty feet hinder athletic
performance.
Now he/she gives some tips for solving the
problem. These tips could easily be incorporated into a
story about health and fitness by a medical reporter. A
TV station, for instance, could show these tips as bullet
points on a graphic.
Again, the writer has made
the journalist's job easy by anticipating their
needs. Doing that dramatically increases the
chance of getting a story on the air or in print.
Medium Matching:
It so happens that this particular release
was part of a “VNR” or video news release from adidas’ PR firm.
They included a satellite feed with video tape of people
exercising while wearing the ClimaCool shoe. There was
also a “sound bite” with a doctor talking about sweaty
feet.
While this release was specifically targeted
for TV, it could have also worked nicely for radio and print
because it passed all the “tests.”
Perspective:
This release was a good example of “selling
the story, not the store.”
In other words, the release focused on
information (the” story”) the audience would either need to
know or want to know. The release did not focus on a new
product (the “store”) being rolled out by a shoe
company.
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